Gosh reading my previous entry I was a bit down wasn’t I? I noticed that I said that I didn’t need support but I don’t think that I meant it the way it sounded so I apologise if I offended anyone. I think that I was searching for a way to motivate myself and by telling myself that I could do it was supposed to be reassuring. What I really needed though was a kick in the butt and I got one.
After I got this I made a conscious decision to go back to Flames to complete my membership, go to the markets and stock up on fresh food and meat and to really think about what I wanted to do next. My membership with Flames was due to end in a few days and I was umminggg and ahhhing about what to do. In my mind I was strong enough to do it by myself and to train myself. I mean I had lost almost 20kgs and I was getting fit and strong.. But was I ready to go at alone? Well quite clearly I wasn’t and recognised this with 4 days to go on my membership with Flames. Sure I had been swimming in the mornings and I had been walking the dogs etc but I wasn’t really putting as much effort into it as I probably could have. It was becoming too easy to sleep in until 6:30am every morning and even though it was really nice it probably wasn’t the best thing for me.
As they promise in their ad’s Flames had been calling me to see why I hadn’t been training and when I told them that I had been trying to do it by myself they were supportive and made sure I was staying on track as best as I could. The condition of my skin is just one indicator that it wasn’t going as well as planned as blemishes were starting to appear, my hair wasn’t as shiny and I was getting constant headaches from not eating correctly and skipping some meals – too busy too cook you see… WELL my kick in the butt came from someone that I wont name but they reminded me that I do have a very real need to keep going and that I need to get off my arse and to continue training and if I fall I just have to get up and keep going. All of the things basically that I knew myself…
So with this enlightening event I spoke with someone in my family that reads this blog. I explained that perhaps I am not strong enough yet to do it by myself and that perhaps Flames is the best place for me at the moment. Considering that I still have shit tins of weight to lose I really think that it is.
This Saturday will be my assessment and the start of my next 10 week membership. My boss at work has been giving me motherly lectures about needing to prioritise all aspects of my life so with this in mind I will once again make the next 10 weeks a priority. Incorporating work and uni as well, kind of. :)
Speaking of uni I am on study leave today and have an exam to do so with that I best go and study.
I will say though that the journey never really ends does it? It is a constant battle and even though those dodgy “take a pill and wake as Elle McPherson” ads look inviting it isn’t realistic.
Note: I should point out that when I did go back to the gym I lifted some weights. Half the amount of what I reached during the challenge and yes I was crying like a baby from the pain two days after. You lose your fitness and strength so quickly!
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2 comments:
You've done it again Shell! That is you've cracked me up a treat. I was reading along, all very serious and philosophical, a wonderful lesson on life's rough and tumble, and suddenly you had me rolling on the floor with laughter (okay, not exactly rolling on the floor - would not have been a pretty sight). Where do you get some of your amazing expressions from?! "Shit tins of weight" is an expression which will keep me smiling for days.
But seriously (with a smile on my face at the same time), good on you for what you've discovered over the last few weeks as you 'fell off the gym mat' (well it wasn't a wagon that you fell off). And you are sooooo right about how quickly our strenght and fitness fade if we miss a week or two.
And as you said the journey doesn't really end, or rather it does, but that end is what we are trying to put off for as long as possible, and at least we can try and enjoy the journey.
Hope your exam went well enough (no you don't have to get an HD).
Go Shell Go!
Will the journey ever end?
I don't think so, really. As we will always need to eat and nourish ourselves. And so every day is a set of conscious choices between health and unhealthy.
Today someone pointed out i am no longer a weight watcher, but a health watcher. That made me realise that I do nopt mind being a health watcher the rest of my life, because being one, absolves me from being a weight watcher.
Why? Because they go hand in hand.
Good on you Shell. Good insight, and good progress!
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